Happy new year

Happy new year my little man,

It feels so right to start a new year fresh with you in our lives. A little over a year ago now I was told that I would never be able to have a baby naturally and that I would need help to get pregnant. On hearing this your father and I had a long discussion and decided that we were going to spend 2009 trying to get pregnant and our new years wish that we made on new years eve 2008 was to have a baby by the end of 2009. Just before new years eve 2008 your father had an accidant and spent months not well, as the year moved in to April I got sad because I thought that my new years eve wish would not come true but then one day I wasn't feeling well so went to the doctor thinking that I must just have a stomach bug to find that instead of having a stomach bug I was pregnant with you. I will never be able to describe the feelings that surged through me when the doctor told me I was pregnant with you, in that moment my whole world began to change and I felt like I was overflowing with joy. As soon as I walked out of the doctors office I called your father to tell him the good news, he was stunned and so very happy and in his shock that we had actauly made you his response was 'how did that happen'. When I got home from the doctors I spent the rest of that night in shock and walking around with a huge grin on my face. You made your father and my new years eve wish come true little man and you arrived with a week to spare.

You made me so happy and proud today Samuel, since we left the hospital on Monday you have been too tired and frustrated to want to feed from me but today you have been trying very hard and everytime I have tried to get you to feed you have, at the very least latched on to me. Tonight a little before you were due to have a bottle you woke up and wanted me. For almost an hour you fed from me and you are so very good at it. Last night I went to bed thinking that we would never make breastfeeding work but tonight I am heading to bed knowing that working together you and I can make this work.

I love you so very much my little man that tonight I am finding it hard to go to bed because I want to sit here and cuddle you and watch you sleep all night, you are so beautiful and so very precious to me.

Love mummy.