Purpose

Dear Samuel,

I fall in love with you more and more everyday and as everyday passes I wonder how I ever lived life without you in it. In under two weeks you have turned my world upside down and I like it much more now then I did before you were here with us. You have brought your father and I closer together then we have been in a long time, watching you when you sleep brings a smile to my face even when I am exhausted or feeling a little blue.

For a long time I have been searching for my purpose in life, no matter where i turned things didn't seem to make sense, there have always been things I wanted/want to do but nothing that gave me the this is it, this is my purpose in life type of feeling... until now. When I look at you I know my purpose you have given me a greater purpose in my life then I ever thought I would find. I know that my purpose right now is to raise a healthy, happy man that is independant and can stand on his own two feet yet doesn't feel that he can do everything on his own. My purpose now is to teach you the things you need to survive in this world, to show you love, to teach you to show love, to teach you that emotions are not something to be afraid of or something that need to be hidden and to teach you that if you work hard at it you can be what ever you want to be. Don't let anyone is this world tell you that your not good enough to do something that you really want to do, don't let anyone talk you out of taking your life by the hand and making what you want out of it and never ever be afraid to dream big little man.

Yesterday we had an appointment at the hospital to get some help for both of us with your feeding. Sometimes you feed really well but other times you don't seem interested in it at all and much prefer your bottle. The nice lady at the hospital really helped me know how to feed you and what we need to do to make this feeding thing work. It will take some work to do it but I know that together you and I can get it working so that you are feeding more from me then you are from the formula in a bottle. I am doing everything I can to increase my supply of milk so that there is enough for you to get full and to remain relaxed and calm so that you don't get stressed at feed time. I think there are few things more beautiful then a mother feeding her baby and I really want to share that beauty with you.

There are so many more things I want to tell you right now but it sounds as though you are about to wake up so I will cut this short so I can make sure that you are okay.

I love you my little man
Mum