First smile and first tonque poke

Dear Samuel,

Five weeks old today, how time flies. Everyday you are growing, sometimes I could almost beleive that I can see you growing in front of my eyes while I watch. Every week brings changes physicaly in you as well as in the things you seems to be able to do. This week you have started smiling at us, not just wind smiles but real smiles that lights up your whole face, smiles where while you are smiling at us you hold eye contact with us. Everytime I see one of your smiles it doesn't matter how tired I am or how bad I might be feeling your smile makes me smile. Seeing you smile, knowing that you are happy brings me such comfort and joy and the knowdlege that despite our breastfeeding problems that I am a good mother and that you are happy and healthy. As well as your smile you have started interacting more with us and have learnt to stick your tonque out at us. It is so cute when you stick your tonque out at us but your such a smart little boy child that you stick your tonque out at us 'after' we have stuck ours out at you.

This week has mostly been quiet. We went and saw the lactation consultant again and have been trying a new feeding system that lets you have both breast and formula at the same time, again showing how smart you are you have figured out how to get rid of the nipple and just get your milk from the tube so I am having to watch carefully to make sure you are getting both. So far I don't know if I can call it a success but we are at least trying it and as I have said to everyone around me I will try everything I can before giving up on trying breastfeed you and even then I will continue to give you the little bit I can until I am no longer making any milk.

My darling boy, you have bought such joy and happiness into my world, into the dark that I was living in you have brought light. I look around me and everything seems different, the world feels like a new place full of potential, full of good things and while there are bad things out there the good things right now far outweigh any of those bad things.

Thank you for bringing the joy in to my life little man, the day you came in to our life our world became a better place.

Love
Mummy.