One week ago

Dear Samuel,

This time a week ago I had been in labour with you for about three hours, it was around this time that I realised you were really coming and that after two weeks of contractions starting and stopping these were not stopping and had been getting worse. As I packed the last items that I would need for the hospital in my bag I took a last look around the house thinking to myself that this is it and life would never be the same again. I didn't want to go to the hospital so soon in to labour but your father insisted that we go and I have to say that I am glad he did as once we got to the hospital things became intense very quickly.

It was a little over five hours after we got to the hospital that you made your way into the world and as I heard you cry for the first time my heart surged with the love that I feel for you. When they put you in my arms for the first time I knew that this was the way things were meant to be and that you are the little gift that I had been waiting on for so long. The moment I saw you the pain of giving birth to you vanished all I could see was you and all I cared about was that you were here and safe in my arms.

The past week has been one of learning for both of us and while things are not how I thought they would be I know that I am doing the best i can for you. It makes me sad that I can not feed you just my milk and that I need to give you formula as well but its what I have to do to make sure you are healthy and strong and don't end up back in the hospital.

We were in hospital for five days because you developed jauntice and they had to keep an eye on you to make sure that you would be okay. You were taken out of our room and put under lights in the nursery, I hated seeing you with a drip in your tiny little hand and hooked up to monitors when all I wanted was to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you. Since they allowed you out of the nursery and back to us I have told you many times a day how much I love you, I only hope that as you grow up you will never for a moment forget that mum and dad love you very much.

We have been home for two days now and things are not easy for either of us at the moment, you still have the jauntice and that is making you a very sleepy little man which is making it hard for you to drink from me and I am feeling sad that I am not feeding you, I hope that soon you will be able to feed just from me and not need the bottle of formula.

Life has changed so much in one week and I don't for a moment regret the changes. Our world currently revolves around you and seeing to your health and happiness. I have spent hours watching you, holding you and talking to you and I think that everytime I look at you I love you even more.

I never knew how much I needed you until you were here in the world with us little man. There is nothing that you could ever do or say that would cause me to love you any less. There is nothing in this world that would make your father and I ever regret having you. We look forward to guiding you in this world and teaching you right from wrong. We look forward to seeing you discover the world around you and helping you to make sense of what you discover but most of all we look forward to sharing our life with you and giving you all the love we can give you. Never doubt for a moment that you are wanted and loved and that we will do what ever we can to support you in this life.

love you always
Mum