My beautiful little boy, where does the time go? I look at you and I see a little boy, not so much a toddler anymore but growing, learning and changing day by day. Where did the tiny baby I held in my arms for the first time all those months past go? I love seeing you discover the world, learn new things and do new things, I remember when I celebrated every new word you said and now words are becoming longer and longer sentences and you understand so much more now that we even have conversations. You get so excited about so many things and I love seeing the joy on your face when you first see me in the morning or when I pick you up from dads. I love hearing the happiness in your voice when you say mummy or tell me that you love me. You make me smile with so many of the things you do every day. Watching you play with your trains and spaceship, ride your trike, chase the dog or kick a ball is teaching me about a world that I forgot existed, a world where for a time we live in that moment and not focus on what has been or what is to come I love you so much my beautiful little boy and I'm so proud to be your mother, to honoured that I can watch you grow and slowly help guide you in life to the man you will one day be. We took you to the zoo for the first time this week and you loved it. You loved looking at all the animals and a lot of them had babies that you were so excited to see. Your favourite animal was the sun bears and you also liked the zebra and owls. You saw two zebras standing together and made us laugh when you pointed at them and told us that they were daddy and grandma, later when you saw a monkey with its baby you tried to tell me that the baby monkey was the baby that is in my womb now. In roughly nine weeks your little sister will be born and I worry every day about how this change will impact you. I wonder what what sort of brother you will be and I hope that you will love her and be her friend as the two of your grow up together. I feel so much guilt over turning your life upside down, you didn't ask for this and you have no idea yet how much life for all of us is going to change once she is born. I hope that you never wonder if mummy still loves you, hope that you don't feel like we are trying to replace you. I am going to strive to be the best mummy I can and never ever leave you wondering if I love you. I can't wait until you come home from daddy's tomorrow, I miss your hugs and smile when you are not here with me. Love always Mummy