It has been a long long time since i last wrote to you my little man and for that I am sorry.
You have grown so much in the last year. A year ago you were still very much a toddler and while you could express yourself and talk the language you chose to you was typical for that age quite simple and basic. Over the past year I have seen your language skills take off and now I absolutely love the long conversations we have, in the four year old evaluation you had a week ago you scored off the charts for your communication and problem solving skills.
I see these skills in you on a daily basis from working out how to get something off the top shelf to putting a puzzle together or finding the answer to a complicated question. We have just started to teach you how to do basic maths starting with subtraction as we have counted down to Christmas and you are picking this skill up so quickly. I am so proud to be your mother and I really hope that you develop a life long love of learning and that your math skills are always this strong. Mathematics wasn't a strong subject for me at school and even now all these years on I struggle with even some of the more basic concepts.
You are now no longer a toddler but have developed into a handsome little boy who is about to start kindergarten. I look at you and I wonder where the tiny baby i held in my arms only four short years ago has disappeared to and am so grateful that I have been able to stay at home with you in this time. When you were born my entire world changed and for the first time I really knew what it was to love someone so much that you would give your life for them. You are my sunshine little man and make me so very happy.
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
No more daycare
My little man,
It is far too long since I last wrote to you, somehow as the days flow by with you and your sister I lose track of the time and before I know it weeks have gone by. Easter has come and gone and this year you got your first easter egg all to yourself that mummy didn't later steal away. You loved it and now ask every day for an easter egg.
Since Abigail was born we have had a lot of issues getting you to go to daycare, you cry and scream and beg to be allowed to stay at home and to be honest every time I have dropped you off I have felt guilty and felt like what I was doing was so against my instincts that I have come home and cried. On friday we had another round of this and instead of forcing it I gave up, pulled you on to my lap and told you that you could stay home. I held you close and told you that I was sorry i kept sending you away and that from now on you could stay home with Abigail and I, at least until it's time to go to kinder. I'm not sure you understood what I was saying my little man so let me say it again here now.
I am sorry that for so long I have sent you away from me for two days a week, I'm sorry that I didn't keep you at home and do the things that you do at daycare here at home. I'm sorry I listened to other people tell me that you needed to be socialised and stimulated and that only daycare could give you that. I now know that at your age thats far from what you need, that what you need is a nice secure home base where you feel safe, loved and wanted and that is what I am going to give you now and do everything i can to make up for sending you away from me so often.
From the middle of this year we are going to start Kinder however I am going to homeschool you for kinder so that you will still be at home with Abigail and I. I look forward to fun we are going to have together, of teaching you myself and watching you learn and grow, of seeing you flourish and become the best you can be. Until July I am spending the time collecting the materials we will need and just enjoying being with you.
I Love you little man and can not wait to spend more time with you.
Love
Mummy
It is far too long since I last wrote to you, somehow as the days flow by with you and your sister I lose track of the time and before I know it weeks have gone by. Easter has come and gone and this year you got your first easter egg all to yourself that mummy didn't later steal away. You loved it and now ask every day for an easter egg.
Since Abigail was born we have had a lot of issues getting you to go to daycare, you cry and scream and beg to be allowed to stay at home and to be honest every time I have dropped you off I have felt guilty and felt like what I was doing was so against my instincts that I have come home and cried. On friday we had another round of this and instead of forcing it I gave up, pulled you on to my lap and told you that you could stay home. I held you close and told you that I was sorry i kept sending you away and that from now on you could stay home with Abigail and I, at least until it's time to go to kinder. I'm not sure you understood what I was saying my little man so let me say it again here now.
I am sorry that for so long I have sent you away from me for two days a week, I'm sorry that I didn't keep you at home and do the things that you do at daycare here at home. I'm sorry I listened to other people tell me that you needed to be socialised and stimulated and that only daycare could give you that. I now know that at your age thats far from what you need, that what you need is a nice secure home base where you feel safe, loved and wanted and that is what I am going to give you now and do everything i can to make up for sending you away from me so often.
From the middle of this year we are going to start Kinder however I am going to homeschool you for kinder so that you will still be at home with Abigail and I. I look forward to fun we are going to have together, of teaching you myself and watching you learn and grow, of seeing you flourish and become the best you can be. Until July I am spending the time collecting the materials we will need and just enjoying being with you.
I Love you little man and can not wait to spend more time with you.
Love
Mummy
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
The terrible threes
My beautiful little man,
Every day I look at you and you seem so grown up already, no longer a toddler you are well and truly a little boy, you speak in sentences, most of the time getting across to us exactly what you are wanting to say or do, you are very affectionate and love cuddles and giving us kisses. You games have taken on a new angle too with you using your trains to tell stories rather then just lining them all up or pushing them around the track like you use too. You play with dinosaurs, your teddy bears and doll, the little people and anything else you can find. You are very creative and love drawing and painting as well as music of all sorts, often you will pick up a stick and pretend you are banging on a drum or blowing on a trumpet with it and you often use your imagination to play games with all your toys.
When I look at you i'm not quite sure when you stopped being a toddler and became a little boy but I think it happened sometime around the birth of your little sister. You are so good with Abigail always wanting to kiss and cuddle her and always asking if she can play with you. I find myself feeling guilty quite often at the moment a lot of the day is taken up looking after Abigail and I don't get to play with you anywhere near as much as I would like too, I know this makes you sad, you often ask me to play with you or for cuddles and it breaks my heart when I have my hands full with Abigail and can not just drop everything to play with you like I use too. You have gotten a lot closer to Jeff recently as he plays with you a lot of the time that I am busy with Abigail, i love seeing you and Jeff together but that makes me sad too as I feel I should be the one doing those things with you.
Life isn't easy at the moment, you have hit the terrible threes and to be honest it is very much testing my patients. You throw tantrum after tantrum and your favourite words are I want and NOW! You whinge all the time when you don't get your own way and scream and yell at me over and over again about what ever it is you are wanting. Some days you have even gone so far as to hit and bite Jeff and I. It's not good little man and to be honest I really don't know how to deal with it. I don't believe in smacking but some days you make me so angry that I have just had to walk away before I snap. Time out doesn't work for you and I really don't know what to do anymore, all I know is I have to figure something out before your behaviour gets even more out of control and harder to fix.
I know this behaviour is normal for a three year old and I know some of it is coming from you adjusting to having to share me with Abigail as well as a result of how long you were away from me while I was in hospital when she was born. Going to your fathers every weekend doesn't help as it's just more time away when really you need to be at home close to me reaffirming that you are important to us and knowing that you are loved, being sent away every weekend is doing nothing to help you feel settled.
I love you little man and I promise that things will get better, as Abigail gets a little bit older it will be easier to play with you and she will even start playing with us. We will figure out how to make you feel safe and secure and when that is figured out I know the tantrums won't be as frequent.
Love always
mummu
Every day I look at you and you seem so grown up already, no longer a toddler you are well and truly a little boy, you speak in sentences, most of the time getting across to us exactly what you are wanting to say or do, you are very affectionate and love cuddles and giving us kisses. You games have taken on a new angle too with you using your trains to tell stories rather then just lining them all up or pushing them around the track like you use too. You play with dinosaurs, your teddy bears and doll, the little people and anything else you can find. You are very creative and love drawing and painting as well as music of all sorts, often you will pick up a stick and pretend you are banging on a drum or blowing on a trumpet with it and you often use your imagination to play games with all your toys.
When I look at you i'm not quite sure when you stopped being a toddler and became a little boy but I think it happened sometime around the birth of your little sister. You are so good with Abigail always wanting to kiss and cuddle her and always asking if she can play with you. I find myself feeling guilty quite often at the moment a lot of the day is taken up looking after Abigail and I don't get to play with you anywhere near as much as I would like too, I know this makes you sad, you often ask me to play with you or for cuddles and it breaks my heart when I have my hands full with Abigail and can not just drop everything to play with you like I use too. You have gotten a lot closer to Jeff recently as he plays with you a lot of the time that I am busy with Abigail, i love seeing you and Jeff together but that makes me sad too as I feel I should be the one doing those things with you.
Life isn't easy at the moment, you have hit the terrible threes and to be honest it is very much testing my patients. You throw tantrum after tantrum and your favourite words are I want and NOW! You whinge all the time when you don't get your own way and scream and yell at me over and over again about what ever it is you are wanting. Some days you have even gone so far as to hit and bite Jeff and I. It's not good little man and to be honest I really don't know how to deal with it. I don't believe in smacking but some days you make me so angry that I have just had to walk away before I snap. Time out doesn't work for you and I really don't know what to do anymore, all I know is I have to figure something out before your behaviour gets even more out of control and harder to fix.
I know this behaviour is normal for a three year old and I know some of it is coming from you adjusting to having to share me with Abigail as well as a result of how long you were away from me while I was in hospital when she was born. Going to your fathers every weekend doesn't help as it's just more time away when really you need to be at home close to me reaffirming that you are important to us and knowing that you are loved, being sent away every weekend is doing nothing to help you feel settled.
I love you little man and I promise that things will get better, as Abigail gets a little bit older it will be easier to play with you and she will even start playing with us. We will figure out how to make you feel safe and secure and when that is figured out I know the tantrums won't be as frequent.
Love always
mummu
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