Today marks one year since you, daddy and I arrived in Perth. That one year has seen so many changes in our lives and since I last wrote to you here there have been still more changes.

At the begining of September nanna came over for a visit from Townsville, she arrived late on Saturday night after you had gone to bed and then when you woke up on Sunday morning there she was. At first you were a little bit shy but within half an hour you remembered here and wanted nothing to do with mum you were so busy playing with nanna. You, nanna and I were so happy to be catching up with each other but little did we know that our world would be turned upside down only a few short hours later.

Nanna had taken you for a walk to the shops and I was tidying up the house when all of a sudden I heard a noise coming from the loungeroom I had turned to walk back into the room when suddenly the ceiling crashed down right in front of me. It was scary little man and only missed me by a single step but all i could think at the moment was thank goodness you were not in the house. There was mess everywhere and the loungeroom and kitchen looked like the sort of diaster area you see on TV. Not knowing what else to do I called Grandma and Daddy who came and took you back to their place while nanna and I sorted out somewhere for us to go. In the end we moved in with the person who i had just started dating. You stayed at daddy and grandma's house for a few days while I set up your bedroom and got everything sorted for you to come home too. Nanna stayed for another ten days and you had a great time playing with her and watching the wiggles.

Time continued forward and we settled in to the house with Jeff but then after a few weeks Jeff got a letter saying that we had to move out. We were stressed for a little while but we found a house and were accepted for it on only the second application we submitted. Last week you, Jeff and I moved into our new house and I have been getting it all set up. It's a really nice place for the three of us to live and be happy in and the best news of all is that we don't have to move again for at least another year hopefully longer.

Anyway little man I should tell you more about Jeff since he is a big part of our lives now. You love Jeff and from time to time you do call him daddy, we correct you as you already have a daddy but it makes mummy so happy to see you laughing and giggling when Jeff plays with you. Jeff loves you very much to little man, he see's you as the son that he doesn't have and treats you as such in every way. As for me well I am happy and very much in love with him. i feel sad sometimes that I could not have this happiness and feelings with your father but your father and I are two very different people, although I do still love him in a way its not the way that you should love someone in a relationship but more the sort of love you have for a sibling or a close friend. I think I will always love you father in that way but it's very different from how I feel about Jeff. With you and Jeff I feel like the luckiest women in the world. I look at you and smile and feel so grateful that you are mine, you are a very special gift that your father gave to me and for that alone he will always have a special place in mummy's heart but Jeff is very different from daddy. He is older then mummy and more settled in his life, he also has a little girl of his own that he see's as often as he can.

Samuel there is one thing that I really want you to know. Love comes in many different forms and sometimes we get confused over just what type of love it is we are feeling. Sometimes people stay in relationships where they don't love somebody in the right way because they feel like they have too for their children but little man one day you will be all grown up, you will fall in and our of love and like everybody you will make mistakes too. I want you to know that if you find yourself in a situation where you think you have to stay just because it's the right thing or 'for the children' that either of those choices isn't the right choice and there is no shame at all in ending a relationship if it's not working out as long as if children are involved you strive to always have a relationship with your child and take responsability for your child. I don't doubt that you will grow up to be an honorable man who will do everything he can for his children and who will put his children first which is why I am telling you this. Sometime's even when you think you are putting your child first it is still the wrong thing to do and may just hurt them in the long run. If I had off stayed with your daddy as you grew up you would have known that something was wrong and more likely then not at the years past daddy and I would have ended up hating each other but because we realized that things were not working and made the choice to end it we are now able to stay friends and jointly raise you, we are able to discuss what we want for you and the best way to look after you and because we are both happy the life you are living is happy too. When you are grown up you will understand that if your not happy then it is hard for those around you to be happy too.

I love you little man and so many other people do too. I can't wait to see you in the morning, to see your smile and have you give me big hugs and kisses and maybe if I am lucky you will say 'i love you'