My beautiful baby boy,
I tell you so often how much I love you I could say over and over every minute of the day and still the words would not come close to the love that I have for you in my heart. I hope that one day you will hold your own baby in your arms and feel the love for them that I have now for you. I hope that your life is full of love and that you learn to love and be loved without reserves, without holding back or attaching conditons to that love. It is my greatest wish for you little man that one day you find somebody to share your life with, to love and to love you. I beleive that when you really love someone and they love you together you can get through anything that this world might throw at you.

I love you little man and always will.
Mummy

This time six months ago I had just given birth and was holding you for the first time my little man. I couldn't take my eyes of you for hours after giving birth to you and even now today I still spend a lot of time just watching you and thinking how beautiful you are and how lucky your daddy and I are to have you. I wouldn't change a thing in my life if it meant that there was a risk that I would not have had you. My light in the darkness, the reason I am trying to make my life a better place is for you. You make me want to be the best that I can be and to teach you that anything in life is possable, afterall we were told that we would never have you.

Happy six months little man, may the next six months bring us even more joy then the last have.

Dear Samuel,

Sometimes I wish that I could slow down the passing of time or even stop it just for a little while so that I can enjoy this time for as long as I want rather then feeling like if I blink I will miss something and you will be all grown up. Then I remember how much I enjoy watching you learn new things and take notice of the world around you, how much I love the way that you now snuggle into because you want to, not because you don't have any control over your body but because you want to snuggle with me. I am enjoying watching you grow, and wondering what sort of man you are going to be in years to come but I am a little sad that time is passing so quickly.

This week you have really made devlopmental leaps, you suddenly have a desire to do things for yourself and have snatched the bottle/spoon/cup out of my hands to try and do it yourself a few times. You are now rolling from your stomach to your back more often though still not all the time and today you started drinking from a sippy cup. You show more interest in your toys now and are picking them up, looking at them, banging them around and throwing them as far as you can. You are a happy baby most of time, full of giggles and smiles with the only exception being when you are tired. When you are tired you get very grizzly and still fight going to sleep.

Right now we have attempted to put you to bed five times and each time has ended up in tears, yours and almost mine. I don't know why you don't want to sleep little man and I want to figure it out so that are happy and playful during the day rather then grizzly.

Another week gone little man but again we have not done much. It is winter in Victoria and here in the valley where we live it has been very cold, too cold to go out and do anything and to cold to do much more then curl up in front of the heater or under a doona to keep warm. We have been reading lots of storys and chatting to you lots as well. You are becoming more and more vocal every day making more and more sounds and sometimes it even sounds as though you are trying to copy the words we are saying to you. Your new trick for this week is to blow raspberrys and bubbles at daddy and I as often as you can.

The one thing we did do this week was take a walk to the shops to buy you a booster seat. You are eating so well now and are eating three meals a day that i decided it was time for you to have a proper place to eat so we bought you a fisher price boost chair that makes one of our normal chairs into a high chair for you. You love your new chair and love the play tray that comes with it, every meal time you get so excited the moment i put you in your chair and its almost a fight to get you to concentrate on your food. This week we tried two new foods. You had oatmeal which you pulled a face at but loved it when it was mixed with a little banana and you also had peas which you gobbled down so quickly. It makes me so happy that you enjoy your food. Friends of ours have trouble getting their bub to eat anything that is not sweet but you love everything we try to give you. I hope that as you grow up I am able to teach you the importance of a good diet, I want you to enjoy a huge range of foods and not just reach for the easy to cook foods or the foods that are high in fat, sugar or salt. I want you to know that if you eat the right foods that it will help you to remain healthy and full of energy and that foods that are good for you to not have to be boring. I want you to be able to enjoy the taste of what ever it is you are eating without having to cover it in salt or sugar. Don't get me wrong, there is a place in life for sweets and junk food, they are yummy and fun to enjoy sometimes but not as a every day thing. My big rule when it comes to food is that everything is okay in moderation. I hope to teach you this as you get older.

Love you little man
Mummy

Dear Samuel,
Time gets passing, the world keeps spinning and you keep growing and learning. This week you have been so full of smiles. Everyday you have smiled, gurgled, cooed and gaaed and giggled at daddy and I, at strangers, at the cats and anything and nothing, sometimes I wonder if the fairys are teasing you and that's why your giggling like mad. Your giggle is music to my ears, it doesn't matter how I am feeling when I hear you giggle I smile and if you giggle lots I end up laughing too. You have been such a happy baby this week (at least during the daylight hours, night and bedtime is another story) and your happiness has made me happy.

You practiced some new things this week too, you have rolled from your stomach to your back a few times (although most of the time you lay on your stomach and scream until we place you on your back once again.) and you have even started to caterpilla crawl across you playmat. You want to move and are getting so frustrated that you are unable to go where you want. I really don't think it will be long before you begin to crawl.

At five months old you have a pet, he is a beautful fluffy kitten who you love to watch play and stroke his fur, most of the time you are so good with him and gentle stroke, only occassionaly do you grap fistfuls of his fur but he loves you and is so patient that when you do grap a fistful he doesn't even turn around and scratch you. Quite often when you are on mine or daddy's lap or even in your chair you kitten climbs up and curls up next to you too. It is so special to see and I am so glad that you already like animals and that they already like you little man. Animals are special, they make great friends and if nobody else seems to be around or if you need to talk to someone but don't want anyone to know your secrets, animals will always listen and will never ever tell anyone the things you spoke to them about.

Anyway little man it is late and time for me to go and get some sleep, we are going out tomorrow to meet some new people and hopefully make some new friends and then on Saturday I am having my birthday party.

I love you little man, more then all the stars in the sky, more then all the grains of sand on earth. I love you more today then I did yesterday but not as much as I will love you tomorrow. No matter what happens in life never ever forget that your mummy and daddy love you and feel blessed that you are in their lives. You were a gift from the gods and one that we will always cherish.